Buying a house and moving cross country has me mentally and emotionally on a rollercoaster.

I am super looking forward to living near my daughter and parents again. I also love the ideaa of having my own home.

I will be moving from a 600 sqft apartment to a 2000 sqft home. I will be able to do all the things I want to do with pedal building and filmimg and whatever else catches my fancy.

I am really looking forward to doing weekly live streams for those that are interested in seeing what all the pedals sound like through different amps and guitars. I can do shootouts with the clones vs the real things. I can even compare different PCB manufacturers takes on the different pedals.

I hope to be able to build a community of people who are interested in hobby and improving mental health. It will be at the forefront of whatever I do.

So back to the buying and moving…..

I hate packing. I like everything to be in its place and packing means taking everything away from its place and moving it. I worry that I will not be able to find halk the things I am looking for.

I also worry about having items lost, broken or stolen. I had all my guitars stolen within a year when I moved to Arizona in the 90s. It is scary to be doing that again. I will feel much better when I am at my house, unpacking and finding the new place where everything will live.

But for now the tearing down of a life I have built here has me in a bit of a melancholy mood. I have not been sleeping well, only about 3 hours at a stint. I feel panicky all the time like there is some kind of impending doom coming. I just keep telling myself….. 4 weeks…. it will all be over in 4 weeks.

Then I can get back to normal. Creating art, making pedals, engaging with people online. It will all turn out ok in the end…. but sometimes I have a hard time convincing myself of that. Even when mentally I know good things are ahead… my brain wants to keep making me feel like it is all going to go away.